I was beginning to wonder what to do with this space. Everything must change…even this. So I did a little redecorating in the hopes that it would make it easier to navigate.

I’ve been changing too. Sometimes I go back and read my earlier blog posts just to see how far I’ve come. Some amazing things have happened in my life and I remain thankful for all the ways the universe conspires to make my dreams come true.

I had an fantastic summer and I want you to read all about it here.

I will continue to change and grow, and I hope you’ll come with me.

Love, love, love

Titilope

propelled from our seats
mouth open
trembling at the possibilities

These are the moments

when love shows
us that it is
more than fairy tales
or movie endings

That a soul mate
doesn’t always come
with the sounds
of fireworks

sometimes they will find you
in quiet moments
when you didn’t even
know you were searching

And your best friend
will suddenly begin
to look alot like
the person
you will spend the rest
of your life with

In these moments
a lakers vs. celtics game
can turn into
your greatest game changer

Love becomes
the steady rhythm
of a dribbling ball
the squeak of sneakers
across a court
June 17, 2010
is the swish
of a 3 pointer
the perfect score

These are the moments

When we recognize
the perfection in
imperfection
and flaws
become beauty marks
and we have
the audacity
to look fear in the face
and say

I choose you,
Mahal

Your name
becomes prophecy

Tomilola
Olugbemiga

These are the moments
This is your moment

You left
a melody
in my rib cage

This slow hum
the tremble of a
beating drum
in my throat

I can’t speak

with a gospel song
dancing across
my tongue

with the memory
of how
your fingers tapped
a jazz riff
into my spine

pressed the blues
into my palms
to hold on to

left me with
Reggae and Soul
R&B, Calipso

breathing is difficult

when there’s an
orchestra
threatening to burst
from my chest

I’ve been listening
for our music
in nightclubs
and cafes

searching
in theatres
and opera houses

I thought I’d find it
in love park

I listened
for the Liberty Bell
ring of your voice

I’m just trying to remember
how the sun sets
across your face

like a Philadelphia skyline

Their only
perception of borders
is the boundary
between

sleeping and waking
earth and air
fire and water
tears and laughter

We teach them hate

feed it
umbilical
pass it on
cellular

we place anger
on their tongues
plant its bitter
seed
in their throats
to blossom
they spit
the same poison
they consume

Children
can’t understand
the love
in revolution

or the inheritance
of severed limbs
and broken necks
of sirens and chaos
of empty bellies
and overflowing cemeteries

So when they ask
“what for?”

will you tell them
that a bomb
can tremble
the same rhythm
as a broken heart

that sometimes
love sounds a lot like
the click
of a grenade

what will you say
is the true
measure
of stolen breath

or the false balance
in a life
for a life

Children can’t
understand peace
when they are born
into war

So when you
find yourself
hands tied behind
your back
the barrel of your own gun
shoved
in your mouth

Staring into the face
of a child
just like yours

you’ll remember
that hate
gives birth
to hate

you can’t value a life
when all you’ve ever known
is dying

I didn’t do so well this month, the good news is that I’ll probably attempt this again in April, and maybe the sting of this shame will ensure that I don’t perform so badly again. I’m sorry.

My heart was doing the most this month, I have to say. So much so that it made writing difficult. The upside is that I started a lot of poems that I one day hope to finish.

I’m working on some things, lord willing they come through and I can gush over it here.

I love you for believing in me.

we’ll run
with scissors
stare down
a spitting cobra
play chicken
with a high speed train

we have known
our share of pain
swallowed a deeper
kind of poison
we are not afraid
to crash

We’ll walk
naked
into
the eye of storm
call down lightning
and dare it
to touch us

After you’ve given away
left over diapers
untouched toys
brand new clothes
he will never wear

They will tell you
time heals all
and you’ll listen
tears will eventually
slow down
it will look alot
like acceptance

But your stretch marked belly
won’t let you forget
your leaking breasts
will betray you
everyday like
clockwork

The rhythm of a haiku
will suddenly remind you
of how he spoke
in angry sputters
leaving the punchlines
till the end

you could never
understand why metaphors
left you breathless

dizzy at the thought of
two things becoming
the same
until it was your mother’s
tired face you saw
in the mirror
on the day you
finally left

you wanted to write
a new story

so you found yourself
a poet
a boy with a mouth
full of prose
let yourself fall into
a new kind of rhythm

but your heart
is a wayward metronome
stuck on the click
of a closing door
and the quiet sound
of your father’s
retreating footsteps

in the end
it wasn’t the way
he laid out his lines
on the coffee table
or the suspense
of a swinging arm
on a night when
he couldn’t find the words

it was the sound
of your mother’s scream
leaving your mouth

the way his eyes
became your father’s
travelling over you
a crumpled pile
on the bedroom floor
discarded

Never has God looked
so real than watching you sleep
breathing in our love

The stray bullet words
tumbling from
the tip of your
loaded tongue
slick as gasoline

Your laughter
is the crackle
of a raging fire
nestled in the valley
of your throat

Your body
is the rise and fall of
a trembling battlefield
waiting for the sounds
of surrender

But there is no enemy here